The thing about being crap at DIY

It's an old (and tired) saying that DIY stands for 'Destroy It Yourself' rather than 'Do It Yourself' but I've managed to live up to it pretty well and am well known for being absolutely sh*te at anything other than gardening. Much as it mostly gives me the freedom not to do any of the jobs I don't like it is also very frustrating because I'd really like to be able to do some of these jobs, especially as I hate paying people to do them for me.

It's just lately the problem has being not so much having to give away money to people for doing the jobs that I don't want but more the buggers don't want to do them either, and often can't be a*sed to phone us and say so. But that's another tired old rant...

So this weekend I found myself trying my own hand at plastering. Yep, all the good DIYers say don't touch it with a barge pole, but after being let down by at least 10 different plasters I figured if I was crap at all the jobs others try then I may as well be crap at the one they won't. Who knows, I may even find out plastering is my thing.

I didn't.

The bit that needed doing was the kitchen i.e.

and about a quarter of the way through I was chuffed that most of it was actually sticking to the wall rather than falling straight on the floor. It was going off fast though but I was determined to get it something like. Then some friends arrived and took over and I probably owe Ade some gratitude as he pretty much saved the day. Or the wall at least.

It still looks bad but, as long as it stays stuck to the wall over night, should be good enough after quite a lot of sanding, filling, sanding, filling some more, sanding some more and a few layers of paint to hide the imperfections I'll no doubt introduce by sanding it too much.

Anyway, it now looks like this (notice the tiles are back - that was me and hopefully they'll 'weather in' eventually):


On a more positive note I can paint and the door to the cloakroom still actually shuts:


And the tiler actually finished! So we've gone from:
to this:
and the mirror still hasn't fallen off the wall.

Still loads to do, but I feel we're getting there now.

A week of tradesman hell

What a week. We're beginning to wonder whether the conservatory is jinxed and whether it will ever be finished.

Monday - the tiler turned up and we expected him to finish boarding the final wall and make a start on the tiling. However, the board went up and he then informed us that he would come back another night and do the tiling but, because he had lost a crown off his tooth, it wouldn't be until Thursday! Grrrr. Oh well these things can't be helped and at least he had told us what was going on. Still it was enough for me to have to sit in a dark corner for a while with a can of something cold and alcoholic.

Tuesday - the plasterer was due at 18:30. I was still calm at 19:00 and left the stress to Tamsyn who was fair frothing. By 19:30 I was annoyed and was trying to ring him, but he never answers the phone. We left our 25th message (or so it seems) since we got the quote 3 weeks ago. He didn't call back so I ended up skulking in my dark corner with my last can of beer.

Wednesday - spent the afternoon thinking up funny witticisms I could throw at the plasterer when he came round later, only to have my moment of sarcasm wasted when the b@stard again didn't bother to turn up! I wouldn't mind but I rang him at 17:30 to remind him. It took 10 attempts to get somebody to answer his phone, but it wasn't the man himself. Whoever it was promised to pass on my message, so he had no excuse for forgetting to turn up.

When we got to 19:30 without a sign I went hunting for beer and couldn't find any. Had to settle on a glass of wine, which really isn't the same, but helped a little. It didn't help my language though, and I left a very satisfying message on the b@stards answer phone a while later, thereby pretty much guaranteeing he won't be coming at all now :)

Tamsyn managed to get hold of another plasterer and he promised to come round and quote on Thursday.

Thursday - bought some beer and got it in the fridge, just in case. It must have been a lucky talisman as when I got home the tiler was tiling and the plasterer had already been round (though we weren't here) so we're waiting for the phone call with fingers firmly crossed.

The tiler smiled politely when I informed him he must have failed at Tradesman school; surely they would shoot him if they knew he was turning up at jobs when he said he would.

Everything was going swimmingly and then we ran out of tiles! Can you believe it, some dick didn't buy enough tiles! What a pillock. Hold on a minute, it was me who bought the tiles. The tiler says he will have to let us know when he can come back.

At least the beer is almost cold....

Conservatory Rebuild - Day x (lost count!)

Another few weeks go by, and the conservatory remains 80% complete. In fact it is more a case of 2 steps forward and one step back!

The tiler arrived last Monday and boarded 3 of the walls in the cloakroom ready to tile the next night. But, thanks to a lazy electrician who had put 2 junction boxes on the 4th wall which, if boarded over, would have made it impossible to actually sit on the toilet, he was unable to do the 4th wall. A few frantic phone calls later with an electrician who can talk for England (he even gives me a run for my money) and we have a date of a week and a half later for him to come and sort the job. The tiler left, and has not been seen since :(

To try and get it sorted quicker Tamsyn asked the guy opposite if he had any idea how we could sort it quickly. He did. He ripped it all out (it was only feeding the outside plug socket, which is easily sorted by running the wire round the outside of the house rather than destroying the aesthetics of the cloakroom).

Unfortunately though, while removing said new wiring he found some clangers that should have been spotted by the electrician: a loose cable made 'safe' with insulating tape left dangling behind the cooker and a cable with junction block cemented in the kitchen wall. These have both now been made properly safe BUT look at our kitchen!



We now have another date for the tiler (Monday and Tuesday) and even the plasterer has decided to return our calls and is due on Tuesday and Wednesday (I'll believe it when he turns up though). We will be asking for another quote, as I decided to 'tidy up' the mess in the kitchen and have progressed to:



So, the conservatory is still not finished, and now we have to get the kitchen sorted as well ...

We've got a door on the bog!

At long last there is light at the end of the tunnel!

This week we have managed to get the electrics finished, the glass replaced with self-cleaning glass (though the kite mark is the same as before so I'm a bit sceptical) and we have a lockable door on the cloakroom (though the *&^%ing thing is broken).



We even have a window sill in the cloakroom as well.



They will, however, be coming back to fix the broken lock and fill in the door frame, though they can't do that until the tiler has been.

So we're basically now waiting on the tiler, plasterer and guy opposite to fit the radiator, and then we're something like.

Conservatory Rebuild The final Stages 1

We're almost there. In coding terms you'd say we were 80% done as it sounds like you've almost finished. The fact that it might take just as long (or longer) to get the final 20% done is never really mentioned ...

There are floor tiles:

Guttering and a soak-away for drainage (the soak-away is the length of the border but you would never know - I'm impressed with how well they did that):



The toilet and sink are in, and we have lights and plug sockets (not quite finished):

As you can see we need tiling in the cloak room, plastering on one of the walls and a door for the toilet. All supposed to be happening over the next few weeks...

Conservatory Rebuild - Day 11

Having sung the praises of the guys doing the conservatory I am now getting fed up. Yesterday (Friday 31 August) the build was a whole week later than expected.

As you can see progress is being made



but I found out yesterday that because they are waiting for 4 panes of glass they won't be back until next Thursday! I reckon there's more than 2 days work left to get it finished so we're going to have to wait even longer before we can get plasterer, electrician, plumber and tiler in: And juggling these guys is hard enough as it is without having to put them off any more.

They've also royally pissed me off with the guttering - I was assured that the guttering would go all around to the side of the house so I could divert the water into a series of water butts. But, somebody mis-measured the roof so the main part will now have to go into a soak-away in the border. They did suggest we have it go straight into a water butt but, as you can see from the picture below, that butt would be right in front of the window (on the left of the picture) and once it was full it would still end up over-flowing into the border!



And if there was nothing there then we run the risk of flooding, both our border and next doors. So they will be digging a soak-away - what a waste (and possible mess while they destroy the border to dig the hole).

I wonder what other surprises they have in store for us? :(

Conservatory Rebuild - Day 10

Not much change visually, but it's coming on well.



A lot of the glass has now been fitted and most of the roof finished with just around the toilet area left to go.

The roof looks a little strange from the upstairs windows but you can see it's quite sturdy, and gives us a lot more headroom from inside.



And finally, this is the view from insiode the house - a great deal of garden now on view. Fantastic.

Conservatory rebuild - Days 8 and 9

Well day 8 was a bit of a laugh as the buggers just didn't turn up. Considering the whole thing was supposed to be finished last Friday that really put us in a good mood. Not!

However, today they arrived and have made great progress, with the frame and most of the roof now up. It really gives a good idea of space when you stand inside and look out and I'm really pleased we went for floor to ceiling glass as you can see all of the garden.

The guys doing the work are great as well and really know their stuff - they're making a great job.

Conservatory Rebuild - Days 6 and 7

Well it's supposed to be finished by now, but as you'll see it still very definitely a work in progress!

The guys turned up on Monday (20/08/2007) to fit the kitchen door and do the fascia. For some reason the double doors weren't yet ready so that was it until Friday.



It turns out the roof etc was still being built i.e. the surveyor went on holiday, forgot all about the job and the measurements weren't taken in time.

Double doors done yesterday and we think they look great, except for a slight crack in one of the panes of glass (being replaced Tuesday).



So Tuesday is the new date for them starting the home run....

Holiday in Pembrokeshire

You'll only want to read the following waffle if bored, or you know us really well. There are pictures of the trip on Flickr but you need to be logged in as a Friend & Family member to see them all...

Day 1
After a fairly lengthy journey down and too many beers to recover from it I woke to a grey and windy day and a cracking headache. The wind soon died and the sun came out - it’s been doing that recently, but only as a 5 minute taster before bucketing it down for the rest of the day.

Unbelievably, the sun stayed out and it got really warm so, after a morning at Felinwynt Rainforest Centre watching butterflies and the most amazing leaf cutter ants hard at work we decided to check out a local beach (Mwnt).
The beach was packed and, thanks to the sun, looked amazing with blue sea, blue skies and real sand. Zoe managed to fall in a rock pool fully clothed so was happy enough to jump around in the surf with soaking wet clothes (a lot happier than Tamsyn when she saw the state of her that’s for sure)

The kids had a great time and spent the rest of the afternoon digging in the sand while we got to sit and enjoy the warmth for a while, and I’ve even caught the sun a little!

The only downside is that the outdoor pool, which is supposed to be heated, is neither heated nor full – somebody set the wrong valve and it managed to empty itself and it has so far taken two days of filling and it’s not quite there yet. And that’s a real shame because, if the guest book is to be believed, they keep it warm and the kids are dying to go swimming.

Day 2
Had to pinch ourselves to check we weren’t dreaming as we woke up to sunshine. The more cynical amongst us (me) figured that it had to rain all day if the sun was out, but I was proved wrong and it and we all ended up with a touch of sun burn.

We went to Cardigan Bay Farm in the morning, which isn’t much of a farm; the highlights being the Llama that spits at all men (I managed to duck, Alan wasn’t so lucky but at least he managed to catch it in his hand rather than full in the face), and the Emus that peck (cruel though this sounds it was quite funny to see the expression of complete shock on Christopher’s face as his thumb was enveloped by a great long beak after the food he was trying to give it).

By far the best bit about the “farm” though is the coastal path which takes you right up to Cardigan island itself, where we spotted a couple of seals and a pair of Dolphins that, as you can imagine, drew a bit of a crowd (buggers to try and photograph though!).

So, after a bite to eat, we headed off to Poppit sands for a bit of rock pooling and quite a bit more sun burn. Not a bad beach and heaving with people who all seemed as shocked as us that the sun had been visible for two days straight.
Leaving the others at the beach we headed back to the cottage to see if the pool was ready. Yet another shock was had as a) it was full at last and b) there were people in it. The next shock was accompanied by a fair bit of shrinkage when I found out that even a heated pool in the UK is cooler than you think, especially after you’ve spent a day marinating in the sun. The kids loved it though, and after you’d done a length or two it was fine so we’ll be getting some exercise in this week at least.

To recover from this unexpected exercise we rounded off the day nice and relaxed with a number of cold beers...

Day 3
After the unexpected sighting of a couple of Dolphins yesterday we decided to take a boat ride from New Quay only to find that the Dolphin spotting rides are so booked up we would have to wait 3 days! So we headed for the beach, which was unbelievably full of people of all shapes, sizes and colours (and by colours I mean milky white, through a spectrum of pink all the way to lobster red).

After a pub lunch we headed back for a swim in a slightly warmer pool – I don't think I'll ever get used to 27C being so bloody cold when in liquid form though!

Day 4
Headed off on our own today and drove about an hour to Tenby. We then got a boat to Caldey Island in the hope of spotting some monks who were conspicuous by their invisibility (they probably spotted Zoe, jumped off the nearest cliff and swam back to Tenby). It's a lovely trip out though and we spent the day wandering around the island learning about how a bunch of religious nutters can somehow make a life of solitude seem appealing. However, I couldn't get a mobile reception, which probably also signifies a lack of broadband so the priesthood is obviously not for me.

Managed to get back for a swim again, followed by finishing off our beers which leaves us with the frightening prospect of only having tea for the next few days. I think we'll probably head over to Tesco's at some point soon...

Day 5
Managed to get our boat ride from New Quay but, unlike the other day when the weather was beautiful, today was windy and started dull. And it showed in the sea as well – it was like glass when we sailed the 20 minute voyage to Caldey Island, it today it looked like Sinbad may have called it off. As soon as the boat poked it’s head around the harbour it got rough.

And so did I.

Everybody else was loving it and tucking into their lunch while I spent the first hour staring fixedly ahead and trying to breathe deeply while trying my hardest not to think of the word vomit. I was doing fine until the tour guide approached me to ask if I was feeling queasy and my answer was almost a new decoration for her shoes. I spent the rest of the journey stood at the front with a red bucket on hand praying for the journey to end. The kids loved it and saw a single seal, but no dolphins. I have to say that even if I had enjoyed the ride it was a pretty boring trip.

We then headed over to Penbryn beach, which was quite nice with sandy beach and a rock pool area full of huge crabs and loads of Gobies (some which were quite large). It also has a water fall at one end which looks very spectacular.

Day 6
The weather was a little dull today so we headed off to the National Botanic Gardens Of Wales, which were lovely (they had orchids so I was happy). The kids took loads of photographs and we were there most of the day.

It was raining when we got back to the cottage but Zoe wanted to swim anyway, as it was our last day. So swim we did, and it was bloody freezing...

Conservatory Rebuild - almost done

Having been away for a week we missed most of the final stretch, but we now have a concrete base and all the brickwork is complete.


They will now measure up for the final fit, which starts on 20 August. They will also remove the window and replace with french doors into the lounge.

Can't wait now...

Conservatory Rebuild - Day 5

At last we can get an idea of size as the brickwork has started.



Next they will come and sort the base out; more hard core, the damp course and a base of concrete. The brick wall between us and next door will also be built as will what we can now call the "cloak room" rather than the toilet in the corner of our lean to :)

Conservatory Rebuild - Days 3 and 4

Day 3 and there's now concreted footings. However, I'm not particularly happy about the amount of the old base that is just lying there. I was expecting that it would have been removed first so they could lay the new floor properly.



A neighbour has since assured me that they take some away, use some as the hard core for the new base and then concrete up to the damp course in the house. That put my mind at rest a bit as I'm hoping for a decent, well insulated base.

Day 4 - not a lot happened today thanks to the beautiful summer we are having. It chucked it down! We have at least now got a pile of bricks on the drive waiting to be turned into a cloakroom, a side wall and the base. Some of the old base was also removed and skipped, and this pile of stone has arrived.



Hopefully (weather permitting) we'll get some brick work done tomorrow...

Conservatory Rebuild - Day 2

Not nearly as much done as yesterday, but then it's hard work breaking up a couple of foot of concrete.



Notice that the toilet has gone but they haven't yet disconnected the water! The children think it very funny when you flush it.



No idea how long it will last, but so far they've managed not to wreck my grass.



There's a fair bit to be done tomorrow because (apparently) the concrete will be arriving. I wonder if Tamsyn is any good with a pick-axe?

Conservatory Rebuild - Day 1

After 10 years of putting up with a wooden lean-to as a conservatory work has started on the new one.

Sunday was spent running round like a mad man trying to clean out the old one, disconnect wiring and generally get it ready for the work men who arrived this morning - not to mention rescuing my plants, which were just starting to look great! :(

Unbelievably it has taken just one day to get it from:


to this:


Tomorrow the toilet goes and so does the floor. No idea how deep they will be digging but it's getting a totally new base and a fair bit of brickwork ready for the final fit at the end of August.

Here's a few more photos for good measure: