Holiday in Cornwall - day 1

Well here we are on holiday in Cornwall. The journey down was a complete nightmare, what with the atrocious British weather and some bus drivers inability to stop his bus from bursting into flames. It all helped turn an already daunting 5 hour journey into a delightful 8. Thank god for sat nav, or I would never have found this place!
We are staying in a holiday cottage in North Tamerton, which is lovely. However, <bile blog mode>If you're charging 900 beer tokens a week for a cottage then at least:
1. Air the place - it stank like it hasn't been lived in since last year.
2. Mow the grass - how are we supposed to spot the dog shit in foot long grass?
3. Make sure the place is secure - sliding doors that cannot be locked are not secure!
4. If the nearest shop is 7 miles away then at least make some soap, washing up liquid and toilet paper available until we get chance to shop.
5. The place has 4 bedrooms (and there are currently 8 people here) so how come the fridge is only big enough for 2 people who don't intend to eat much? </bile blog mode>
On the upside, there may not be a shop on site but there is a pub! We'll be checking that out fairly soon :)
There's also loads of nature - we've spotted a deer, fox, numerous birds and a pig(!) all in the first morning.
But hey I'm on holiday so I'm going to try and put my Victor Meldew persona to one side and enjoy myself...